I Can't Even Cry...

without being disturbed.

Sitting by the water in my old neighborhood, I focused on successfully seating myself in deep thought. You know those times when you know you need to cry for a cleansing? Well, I was at the brink of this last night. I just felt the urgency to emote via tears.

After being interrupted by these wonderful women and their chatter-filled children, all on wheels, I found some semblance of silence. I began to feel the crispness of the wind making goose pimples emerge like magic on my scalp, so I decided to put my hood on. This is where the event of this entry began, I guess.

I was settling into my mood of blue when these two dudes walked by. I barely noticed them. Maybe forty-five seconds elapsed when I could see some one's shadow on the concrete creeping into my periphery. I thought this person would walk past as did many people did during my tenure on the bench by the water. I became stunned slightly when the shadow's body said, "Hello." This of course caused me to turn in his direction... "And OH, he's brought a friend", I thought. He proceeded to remain the lead in his exploratory endeavor by asking me if I was okay. I nodded yes (I was on the verge of my needed cleanse cry), expecting him to turn away and continue his journey. He then stepped closer and proceeded to ask, "Is there someone coming to get you?" At this I chuckled and said, "I'm fine, thanks. I live right around here", pointing to the buildings behind me.
After hearing my response in my own pre-cry baritone, his face went back to an expression of assurance. The duo walked away and I wept and wept and wept and wept.
~~~~~~~
At first, I thought this encounter was initiated out of concern for me as a human being, but when I heard those words of wondering if I was to be met I knew it was because they had mistaken me for a child. They could barely see my face so it's not their fault. Who do I blame then when I'm sick of being a victim/survivor of my own shell of self?
Many try to help me, but that's not the assistance I seek.

Blessed are the meek.